Why do we press  harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

  

 Why does someone  believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say  the paint is wet?

  

 Why doesn't  Tarzan have a beard?

  

 Why does  Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at  him?

  

Why do  Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

   

Whose idea was  it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

  

Why is it that no  matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

  

Why do people  constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will  have materialized?

  

Why do people  keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum

 cleaner, then reach  down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more  chance?

  

Why is it that  no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

  

 In  winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we  complained about the heat?

  

 How come you  never hear father-in-law jokes?

  

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four  persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best  friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

  

Question:    Which horse should have won the Grand National?

Answer:      Creosote - it's good over fences!

Question: What is the biggest city in the world ?

Answer:    Dublin - because it's always keeps Dublin and Dublin.